Cofem

Yellow-eyed, black teeth...screamin' like a 

demon at the top of his lungs.

Lake Pontchartrain - Ludo

I deleted my Xanga a while back, but I happened to save an interesting post.

Mind you, this is a couple years old, but I thought I should post it for the nostalgia. I'm sure the story was osverdramaticised, but it's still an important chapter of my history.

WARNING: Strong language and VERY BAD GRAMMATICAL errors await you below. This is unedited from it's original post. Enjoy!

Oh my gosh. I was with my friends for Tina's birthday and we decided that in the nighttime we would go play with Warrior in the park. Well, as you all know, Warrior is just a little puppy who loves to play and get in other dogs buisness. Is that so harmful? Well apparently, it was to CrazyOldFartEvilMan (aka COFEM). Well, here we are playing in the sand with Warrior, and then Cofem comes with his full grown big black lab without a leash. We didn't notice this though untill Warrior came and started jumping and playing with this lab. Thus, Cofem started yelling and trying to get Warrior away. So, just like every other dog that comes around, Tina's mom and I went and tried to pull Warrior away. Well, usually Warrior trotted over happily and forgot all about it. Well, that would of worked if Cofem didn't start hiting and smashing Warrior. So, Warrior as usual, got angry, and wanted to win the battle. He, of course, was just playing along with the dog. Not even touching Cofem or the other dog. Well, we come over, say were sorry, and than Cofem starts cursing at us. "You take that damn dog away, what the hell are you thinking, lady?" So, we all come over and pull Warrior away. Well, the other dog didn't budge either, he was a wimp. So no one was harming each other. He didn't have a leash, and neither did Warrior. So as we say sorry for no reason at all, he says, "You bitch better get that fucking dog a leash, lady." We, say sorry, again. Well, out of the blue, Cofem started getting really pissed. "Whats your address, lady?" We ignored him, and said sorry again. "I'm gonna call the pound on that dog. Whats your problem, bitch? Get that damn dog away." By now, we had Warrior in our hands and out of his way, so we had no idea what he was talking about. "What's your address, lady? I want to know your address!" We said sorry, and continued until he left. Now, standing up for ourselves, we didn't want to leave. So, we sent Tina to get the leash so the next time he brings his dog around, we can tell him to get a leash. But, as Tina went up to get the leash, something eles happened. She went around the corner to her house, but then she saw the man. Cofem said, "Do you know where that crazy lady lives?" Tina anounced, trying not to give away her cover, "No." She continued, but Cofem said, "You know what, I bet you're that crazy ladies daughter." Tina continued skating down, but didn't stop at her house. Because Cofem, was following her. So she speeded up, probably really scared, and went the long way back to the park. By now, she had lost the man, and we were alone in the park. Well, now, we started talking about it again. As we thought it was soon over, we saw this old, but tall and fat figure walking sternly twords us. Cofem was without his dog, and he looked pissed. Well, Tina's mom said, "Lets get out of here." We started walking up the hill, but then Cofem got faster. So, then we started running faster. He started chasing us, and ran heavily. So now we started running franticly, laughing with fright, and when we looked back, he was there, and chasing us still. Screaming with adreniline, laughter, and fright, we ran as fast as we can. We finnaly turned the corner, and ran into the house with Warrior (it's the second from the corner.) So now, we locked the doors, and hoped his big fat ass was slowing him down and he didn't see us run in. Now, we were basicly laughing, and crying. Stephanie was ready to call 911. We turned off the light, and hoped to God that Warrior wouldn't start barking. Well, the door rang, and we heard a voice from outside sayind, "Is anyone thier? I know your in here!" Then he started mumbling who knows what, and we kind of froze in our spots for 10 minutes. After that, we went up stairs, tried to put it off, and opened presents. But just as we were getting better about it, the door rings, and it was him. We weren't sure it was him, until we called my mom, and Steph's mom, and made sure it was him. So, now, I write this laughing, and hope that tonight will bring some shut eye. God, this really makes this whole situation seem lighter. Well, we're just here to warn you that there are all Cofem's out thier. Yupyupyup.

Haha yeah, so there you have it. The story of Cofem. From the perspective of a bunch of frightened teenagers. Things have changed so much since then, thank god, such as the ability to create paragraphs. Man, that whole thing was like one run on sentence.