I Hope I'm Not The Reason

To you, you arrogant bastard, I hope I'm not the reason.

You were everything to her. She did everything for you. And yet you throw her around like some kind of toy, and break her heart, and make her cry, and make her hate herself when she shouldn't. For no reason. You guys were great. You guys were the best together. And you ended it.

I better not be the reason. My answer, if you were to ask, would be YES, YES I DO, but I CAN'T because of who you are. You break things. You break hearts. I can't deal with that. Yes, you're amazing, but if you broke her heart so easily, without any drop of human emotion, what would I be? Just another toy?

And I better not be the reason. Because I hope you know that I'm not like other girls. I don't fall so easily. I hate you. How could you make such a brain dead decision? If you liked me, why didn't you tell me two months ago? Why make things complicated. I can't let what happened to her happen to me. You need to learn not to be such a horrible, horrible person. How could you do that to her?Make her think that you're going to spend the rest of your life with her, and then dump her like she's nothing to you? Did you ever love her? Did you ever mean what you said? Do you ever mean anything you say? You're a walking lie. How could you.

And to you, you amazing, talented person, I hate you too. You were my world until you found her. Until you started liking her. Until she was everything to you. You never knew that I used to dream about you every night. You never knew how much I hoped, how much I longed for you. Am I not good enough for you? What does she have that I don't? You destroyed my spirit. You broke my heart.

And to you, you jerk, you caring, friendly jerk, I hate you as well. You ruined things. You ruined how things could have been. Why did you have to like me? Couldn't you see I clearly liked someone else? Is that why he found someone else? Because of you? I hate you.

And to you, you who used to mean everything to me. You who used to care about me. What happened? I'll tell you what happened. Nothing. You never dared try for me. And I was too afraid to try for you. I'm sick of this. I'm sick of living this lie but I can't go back. We can't turn back time. I really hope I'm not the reason you're so depressed all the time. Because it wasn't just my fault.

(( You don't have to get this at all, you don't have to even read it. You probably don't even know anyone who I'm talking about above. I just needed to let out my flow of emotions. I can't let summer start with all these thoughts running through my head. I had to let them out. Life just sucks sometimes. ))

Summer <3

I can't believe it, it's finally here!

SUMMER!

As of today, I'm no longer a sophomore...I'm a junior! An upperclassman! And I feel fantastic!

Things are starting to get better for me. A lot better. My summer is going to ROCK this year. This weekend I'm partying it up at birthdays, tomorrow I'm going to go see a movie, and next week is going to be packed with awesomeness.

In July, I'm taking a roadtrip down with some friends to Sacramento, where we're going to stay for a few days. Everything is going to be funded for us. Horseback riding, you name it. It's going to be wicked awesome.

The seniors of ITV are gone, which is super depressing. But ambition swims beneath my veins, and I really feel as if I can lead the program next year. I have so many ideas brewing in my head, I just can't wait to become director. ITV is like my home, and I can't let a couple of graduating seniors destroy it.

On a sad note, all those 'relationships' that all my friends have gotten themselves into have mysteriously evaporated during the last week and today. Kind of an eye-opener. Everything ends, even things that you think wouldn't. It's sad, but it's part of life.

And I can't believe this year is over! Finals are over. Testing is over. Drama is over. Everything is OVER for another two and a half months. Epicness.

To everyone reading, HAFGS! (:

The Oh-Em-Gee Robbery

QUIZNO'S ROBBERY!

A Brilliant Thief Gets Away With Stealing Four Hundred Dollars

Yesterday, at approximately 11:42 in the afternoon, a devastating robbery occurred at the Quiznos located on the cross-section of Walnut and Culver. The robber managed to seize four-hundred dollars and eighteen cents in cash out of both the cash register, and Quizno's personal safe.

Remarkably, out of the five customers enjoying their lunch, none of them reported the robbery. The thievery had been reported by the manager of the store, and unfortunately the robber himself had already made his getaway. Lucky, there were no casualties.

KTLA news investigates.

Reporters arrive on the scene at approximately 12:05--twenty three minutes after the alleged thievery. Student Jane Wyatt, spectator of the scene, faced our cameras and told the world exactly what happened.

"So I was just sitting eating my Toasty Torpedo, texting my friend, when all of a sudden I see this guy come in to the store, who looked like he was angry or something."

"What did he look like?"

"He dressed in all black, with like this mask on...I would have gotten a better look at his face, but the strange man reminded me of my uncle. You see, my uncle threw these amazing birthday parties. I just felt like I had to text him"

"And what happened after that?"

"I heard some screaming, an' that guy ran out of the store with a bunch of cash. I assumed he had robbed the place or something. That's when I immediately texted Jessica. I mean, I had witnessed a robbery! I think I did, anyways. Did I? Anyway, we texted for about twenty minutes about it before you guys showed up."

The next witness, 16 year old student James Simons, also agreed to discuss his perspective of the crime.

"So yeah, I was ordering one of those BLT things, when this man rushes past me and starts yelling an' all, wavin' around a gun an' making some sort of scene."

"...And you didn't try to stop him?"

"Dude, my girlfriend Cindy is having some problems. Her friend Tia didn't show up at her birthday party three days ago, and..."

"What does this have to do with the robbery?"

"Oh, right...well she texted me. I had to answer her, you know? To calm her down. 'Can't ignore a text. Next thing I know, he was gone."

"And why didn't you say anything to the police?"

"Well I tried to text them. I didn't get a response. You can text 911 right?"

We moved on to talk to yet another witness of the crime, 15 year old Cindy Maxine. "So Cindy, what happened here?"

"Ohemgee, so lyke, there was this guy with like a mask and all, and I told him to geeteeyeffoow, but he just stared at me, lyke, doubleyouteeyeff! So I was just like kayemmay, and decided to text my beeyeff about this ex beebeeyeffeffell who ditched my beedee. Elloohell!"

Unfortunately, we couldn't understand what she was saying, so we moved on to the next witness, 17 year old Tia Tran. "Tia, did you get a good look at the robbers face?"

"Face? Uhm, no. Sorry, I'm not emotionally ready for an interview."

"How come?"

"It's my best friend, Cindy! She won't listen to me...I couldn't go to her birthday party because my dog passed away. It was...a really, emotional, horrible thing and I was crying and couldn't deal with like a party and I really just needed to grieve and say goodbye to him and I...hold on, I have a text."

"Your best friend, Cindy? Cindy Maxine? Isn't she just right over there?" Tia didn't respond, and we waited two minutes for her to finish.

"I'm sorry, who are you again? Oh sorry, hold on a sec...I have a text."

We moved on to the fifth and final witness, 18 year old Brandon Piatt, who seemed to be busily pressing buttons on his phone before we approached him. "Brandon, do you have anything to comment about the robbery that just took place?"

Looking up at the cameras, he stared at us blankly "There was a what that just took place? Here?!"

None of those present at the time of the robbery could identify the robber.

Luckily, KTLA has stumbled upon new breakthrough evidence, and after viewing Quiznos security tapes, it is now believed that the suspect is a sophomore male, Irvine High School student, by the name of--hold on, I have a text.

[ I probably should have posted this before, but this was a practice-satire I felt like doing for my Honors Brit Lit Class. Didn't want to spoil the fact that it wasn't a real news article, tee-hee. ]

Lie? Idk.

Have you ever had the feeling you're living a lie?

I spent most of my week researching about our earth. And how horrible we're killing it. Every day we destroy our thin, fragile layer of Oxygen that's keeping us alive. And, even though I complain about it and even though I'm horrified by it, I have the horrible feeling that I can't do anything about it. So if I can't do anything about the inevitable, why waste my time worrying?

But now I feel like I'm just trying to push away the problem. Live life happily without having to worry about the bad. Like the motto of my video class, I "don't worry about it."

The thing is, deep down, I know I can make a difference. A huge impact. Do I want to? Absolutely. Will I? Probably not. Why not? I have no idea. Yes, I've begun recycling more and picking up trash I see on the way to Seattle's Coffee during lunch, but even by buying Seattles Coffee, I'm killing the planet. Killing trees for those little paper things they put around the plastic cups. Destroying the atmosphere when planes packed with ingredients for that coffee flew into the country. Everything I do seems to kill the planet. And I'm not the only one doing it. Everyone is.

I'm not sure what my point is in writing this. I don't think I really have one. I just don't really know what to do about this all.

Another example would be video gaming. I did a whole freaking report about the dangers of video gaming...about how people spend their lives on virtual games such as World of Warcraft and create virtual families that replace their real ones. It's freaking scary. And yet, the day before the presentation, I played the Sims 3 for FOUR hours. And I know I've played games much longer than that.

I know the dangers of my actions. And I can't stop because I was raised to consume. Is it better to know the horrors of our actions? Or is it better to stay ignorant?

Wow, I just noticed how completely pointless this post is. Whateves.

-end rant-