I've been losing a best friend, but don't even care, because I realized she isn't the person I thought she was. At the same time, somebody else is starting to bug the crap out of me because I know she's hiding something. Somebody else is pissing me off, because he's s ending mixed signals. Somebody else is still amazing as they've always been, but I don't like them like I used to...
And most confusing of all, the same person I've hated, I've ranted about endlessly, I've been a bitch to, and I've hurt, is the one person that now I can tell anything, the one person I can be myself around, and the one person I truly care about.
Like I said. Confusing.
You know what? This summer I learned a lot about myself. Coming back to school has given me this epiphany. I know who I am and I'm not afraid to let others know that. I feel like I have this new confidence in myself. At the same time, this is a bad thing. I'm starting to realize that some things that used to cheer me up before no longer entertain me. No longer is gossip fun. No longer do I waste my time in front of the television, watching TV shows for the sake of talking about them. No longer do I find random, mindless chatter about stupid things fun or fulfilling. I am not a new person, but the same person I've always been, the person whose been hiding within me afraid to show itself.
I'm ready to face you world.
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