Breakeven

What am I gonna do when the

best part of me was always you?

What am I gonna say when I'm

all choked up, and you're okay?

I'm falling to pieces.

Breakeven - The Script

Sometimes in life, you just want to break down and cry. Nothing seems to be going right.

Me, for instance, felt that way Monday. I had lost my best friend. I had lost a guy I cared about. My friends have gotten into some, 'bad habits,' per say. I couldn't talk to anybody about my problems. And worse still, I realized that the guy I couldn't stop thinking about wasn't the one for me. My heart was broken beyond belief.

Nothing seemed right anymore. I felt lonely. I had nobody. I felt like the world had swallowed me whole. I was there in a little patch of darkness, where no light could penetrate. I felt like a walking shadow.

During school, I would smile and act like nothing had changed. But every so often, my eyes would cloud up, and I'd have to swallow my pain again. I know they say that a heart-break can really be a blessing, but I didn't feel that way. And I'd keep it in until I got home, where I would let out all my pain, laying on my bed, grasping my pillow, talking to my birds, and doing absolutely nothing until the next day. I wanted to be miserable, because that's how I felt.

I never thought I'd rise up from the ashes I've scattered. But you can grow flowers from where dirt used to be.

Near the end of the week, I was a changed person. Somehow, during that miserable depressing week, I woke up. I felt liberated. Yes, it hurt, but I can't waste time worrying about it!

So through my depressing I was reborn. Who needs darkness when there's so much light in the world?

I reconnected with my best friend, I began regaining my social life, and I even worked heavily on school work and began to really get into what I was learning ( before I had obviously been distracted, but now I was free to concentrate ). I let myself run free. Life shouldn't be wasted worrying about how you appeal to others, waiting for things to happen, and wishing for things to get better.

Life is beautiful. Somehow, amongst this universe of trillions of galaxies, we made it here on earth. This tiny, fragile planet. And on that planet, we're given this life somehow. I don't care by whom or what, but we are given life. I don't want to waste my life wishing for a better one. I want to embrace it.

And even though I may sound extremely happen, my heart is still broken. Perhaps I'm only trying to convince myself that the only way out from this darkness I've been drowning in, is up. Because when a heart breaks, it doesn't break even. But a broken heart is still a heart, and I need to cherish every piece I have left.